Nude Beach Thoughts

Farm Trooper Quoteage

A lone Farm Trooper has spent his spare time, between Hoth placements and stellar runs on a clunky EX-F, scanning the verse for random signals. Here are a collection of what his eyes have read, dictated at his ranch on Corellia.

A Sunday Afternoon Chatting With Some Mormons [Follow up]

From: askaquestion19@mtc.byu.edu
To: gravitrons_rule_my_world@hotmail.com
Date: Sun, 8 Aug 2010 18:56:43 -0600
Subject: hi

Farlowe,

Here is something we would like you to watch before we call you tomorrow at 19:00. This is a short video that explains a little more about the experience that Joseph Smith went through.

http://jesuschrist.lds.org/SonOfGod/eng/the-restoration/video/the-restoration 

Alison and Stephanie

missionaries from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints


From: askaquestion19@mtc.byu.edu
To: gravitrons_rule_my_world@hotmail.com
Date: Tue, 10 Aug 2010 15:39:51 -0600
Subject: hi

Farlowe,

We apologize for not being able to call last. Are you available tonight at 19:00 again? Let us know if this works for you.

Alison and Stephanie

missionaries from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints


From: gravitrons_rule_my_world@hotmail.com
To: askaquestion19@mtc.byu.edu
Subject: RE: hi
Date: Tue, 10 Aug 2010 23:29:51 -0600

That night was no good. Try again tomorrow. And if the receptionist gives you any problems. Tell them "Farlowe's bills are paid. Just connect the call."

A Sunday Afternoon Chatting With Some Mormons.

Welcome to Mormon.org chat.

A representative will be with you shortly.

Me: Hello!?!

Agent [Alison] is ready to assist you.

Alison: hi

Alison: this is Alison and Stephanie

Alison: how are you today?

Agent [stephanie] has joined the chat.

Me: Ahoy ahoy. I'm not to shabby. How about yourselves?

stephanie: We are doing well thank you.

stephanie: What has prompted you to visit our site today?

Me: No worries. I had this long debating chat with one of your fellow members the other week on my front porch the other week and found him quite knowledge. Was just looking into further information.

Alison: what interested you in what was said?

Me: Ahh well, we started off with topics about the future of man and our souls.

Alison: were you able to learn about Joseph Smith?

Me: I'm currently a smart man and know my philosophy of worlded old dead bearded white guys, some other fellows as well. We did mention Old Joe, but I was interested the dichotomy between the Catholic Church's view of Jesus' (in which I was raised) and that of Joesph's.

Alison: I am not familiar with that word, sorry

Me: You could always just Google the word you didn't know. It

Me: is amazing what the vast net can do.

Me: What confused me the most about the Mormon viewpoint was the collectiveness of your communities. What word was that?

stephanie: congregations?

stephanie: wards?

Me: Wards.

Me: What are they?

stephanie: A ward designed geographically.

stephanie: Based on where you live you go at a certain time to a certain building.

Me: So wards are where the locale people meet up to praise the Lord? Does this happen on Sundays?

stephanie: Yes.

Me: Cool, cause Sundays work best for me.

Me: Do I have to sign any contracts for joining up?

Me: The guy (Mark) was a little shy about the involvement. Can I just show up and eat the waffer and be good and right with Jesus?

Alison: anyone is welcome to come to church on sunday

Alison: to become a member of the Church it is important to learn about the beliefs of the church and find out for ourselves if it is true

Me: Excellent! So what's the Pearl of Great Price all about?

stephanie: The Pearl of Great Price is ancient records translated by Jsoeph Smith.

Me: and it talks about what?

stephanie: It talks more about our purpose in life and the Plan that God created for us.

Alison: do you ever wonder what God's plan is for your life?

Me: Sorry for the delay.

Me: I do wonder that quite often.

Me: Where am I going?

Me: What am I here to do?

Me: How is it all connected?

Me: What's been up with Mel Gibson lately?

Me: Those types of things.

stephanie: We learn through the scriptures and a living prophet that God has a plan for us.

stephanie: A book that we read called the Book of Mormon helps us better understand really what our purpose is here.

Me: Tidy. Who's the living prophet?

Alison: that we have been given time on the earth to live and then prepare to meet God

Alison: our living prophet today is Thomas Monson

Alison: and he is God's mouthpiece on the earth today

Alison: have you read from the Book of Mormon before?

Me: Man that guy seems cool. The Boy Scouts gave him a Silver Buffalo! And he was friends with Ronald Regan. That dude was so awesome back in the day. Don't you think?

Me: I haven't read the Book of Mormon yet, it hasn't been on any of my course reading lists.

Me: Is it kinda like The Good Book 3.0?

Alison: it is another testament of Jesus Christ

Alison: recorded by prophets anciently for us to read today

Alison: we would love to be able to share more with you about the Book of Mormon at another time, over the phone

Alison: would you like to learn more?

Me: Steller! Must be like the Dead Sea Scrolls. I'd love to learn more too! I never liked Mark or Luke's take on the bearded one. They made him all sissy like. Don't you think? Like Jesus just lost his urges to be human.

stephanie: What time zone are you in?

Me: GMT -08:00

stephanie: What is a good number to reach you at?

Me: Well I am available to chat for lengths of time mostly between 17:30 to 03:00 at 604-681-9121 [The Church of Scientology Vancouver]. Should I read up on some Pearly Wisdom before you call so I am prepared to find out about your ideas and ways?

Alison: if we can get your email we can send you something to look at before we talk again?

Alison: what time is it right now for you?

Me: 17:28

Me: My email is gravitons_rule_my_world@hotmail.com

Me: I know it's a silly email but I've had it since high school.

stephanie: It is 6:32pm here. Does tomorrow at 7pm your time work?

Me: It might let me check my planner. One second please.

Alison: does that time work?

Me: Ok, 19:00 works for me. Just ask the Receptionist to forward you to ext. 187. Are you sure that by looking more into the Mormon Ideologies that I was be able to help friends, family and strangers in many situations and circumstances: questions or problems in relationships, anxiety, tutoring a child in his or her learning skills, teenage stress, self-esteem, helping a family member overcome drug or alcohol dependency, guiding a criminally inclined adolescent back on the road of self-respect and honesty, resolving a dispute at work or at home, helping a friend or associate better organize his life or handle signs of stress?

Alison: we believe that the gospel can help us in any circumstances that we go through

Alison: can we also ask how old you are?

Me: Wiked Cool Ally! That's just what I need to hear. My biological form is 26 but I feel that my celestial soul is 2.5 billion years old, my mammalian soul is quite young 1.2 million years old and as for my reptilian soul, I feel that it is so intertwined with the multiverse that it cannot be calculated. But mainly I'm 26 according to my driver's license.

Alison: okay Farlowe, we will send an email with something to look at and we look forward to speaking with you tomorr

Alison: tomorrow

Me: Tidy. Thanks again Alison and Stephanie. Stay gold until Sol implodes is a fiery flash of nuclear power and wipes the solar system clean.

stephanie: Thank you for your time Farlowe.

Me: No No. Really. Thank You Both.

Me: Thank you kindly, sweetly, and deeply.

Alison: of course

Me: Before I go could you help me out with one quick question?

Me: What's been up with Mel Gibson lately?

stephanie: Farlowe we are not sure.

stephanie: As missionaries we devote our time to sharing this unique message for 18 months.

Me: Understood. Was a tough question. Don't you still surf the net and shit? And I thought a year had only 12 months.

stephanie: We serve for a year and a half.

Me: Heavy. Okie dokie. I got to go, my buddies just arrived and we got some stoned Monopoly to play. I really like earning fancy colored bills in big piles. Must be a Canadian thing I Think.

stephanie: Thank you for allowing us to share this with you.

stephanie: Bye.

Agent [stephanie] has left the chat.

The chat session has ended.

Me: Farlowe Out!